some thoughts on FRIENDSHIP!!!!

This morning I saw a post on Instagram that said:

“Yes, there are a lot of things that you are not, but there are also so many things that you are.” 

This hit me so hard!! And its funny, because this ties into a huge concept that I’ve been thinking a lot about lately. Just a couple of days ago I started writing a blog about friendships and different areas of growth that I’ve seen in myself when it comes to friendships this year. Basically, the point is that I’ve learned so much about who I am, who my friends are, and then accepting all our similarities and differences. What seems like such a simple concept doesn’t always feel as simple when we live in a world full of insecurity, comparison & competition!!! Thus meaning that I’ve had a lot to learn here.. 

As I look around at the circle of people that I’ve specifically connected with on deeper levels this year, I see so many fun/interesting dynamics. I see a lot of high energy personalities, I see some more introverted personalities, we have a few veggie lovers and a few meat lovers hehe, I see someone who can be with people all day and I see some of us who would prefer maybe one conversation per day (lol being dramatic but am I?), I see all of us coming from different family backgrounds and different parts of the country, I see a lot of different stories and a lot of brokenness in a lot of different ways. On the flip side I see a lot of freedom and even more redemption spilling out from each of our stories. We’re all just so freaking different. 

So what have I learned from this and what have I taken from this moving forward? 

I remember the point in the race where I felt like I had a choice when it came to my friends. This may or may not be a surprise to you – but I’m def one of the friends that tends to tap more into my introverted tendencies. I have a limited amount of energy and when it’s gone, it’s gone. Goodbye. So, there was one week where I got put in the same room as 4 of my friends on the race and I realized at that moment that that week was either going to be hell or I was going to need to step into confidence with who I am within this friend group. Haha. Thankfully, The Lord revealed a lot to me that week and I choose the latter. These 4 of my friends are ENERGY in allllll good ways. It’s such a fun part of all of their personalities! Put the 4 of them together and you have late night dance parties, constant karaoke, and a constant chatter. But then you have me.. ready for bed and silence at like 8pm. Please turn off all the lights, put in your headphones and don’t have a conversation without me or else I might feel FOMO and then get stressed because I want to be apart of things but I can’t muster up the energy. If you wanna have a dance party let’s maybe schedule it for 4pm? I should have some energy then, and I’ll go hide the rest of the evening to recharge and everything will be alright!!! 

Hahaha. I had a choice. Was I going to allow our differences to make me feel less apart of the group? Was I going to write them all off as friends that I can’t really connect with because they stay up later at night than me? Was I going to allow annoyance to grow into insecurity of who I am in the group? In the past, I would have accepted defeat. I would have moved on and peaced out because our differences were too threatening for me.

But something in me grew that week. I remember having to consciously make the decision to stay. I remember constantly making an active mental choice to accept myself and be confident in who I am. So, I put in my headphones at night and said, “have fun y’all. I don’t feel left out, you guys can do whatever you want but I’m going to bed.” And then I went to bed. Confident that my friends love me, that I love my friends, and that I’m going to get the sleep that I want. There were multiple examples of this throughout that week. And at the end of the week I felt even more free to just be me, and I actually felt like I loved my friends for who they were deeper than before. 

I realized that from that point on, my view of friendship had strengthened and grew. The root of my friendships are based on the fact that my friends know me, I know them, I know myself, they know themselves, they love Jesus, I love Jesus, and we can all confidently walk in who we are while doing life together along the way. Cait will eat veggies and I’ll eat hot dogs and it’ll be alright. 😉

I love my friends. I’m so thankful for the way that they choose to know me and love me. I love seeing all the different gifts that we all bring to the table and I love being able to use them for their strengths. MK is my go to when I need someone to relate to me. Kenny is my girl for advice and wisdom. Sierra is my biggest fan and will laugh at all my jokes. Cait will step up to the throne of God and intercede for me and fight for me like no other. Cayce Bell is my black and white thinker when I’m all over the place. Sarah can and will listen to me all day if I needed it. Kate Hutch will always say yes to an adventure. Ah I love all these people and more SO DEEP!! So yes, there are a lot of things that I am not. But there are also a lot of things that I am. And it’s allllllll so special. 

Friendships can be hard, but I’ve seen the work of getting to know myself pay off here. I think this is one of the biggest things that I’ve grown in and learned this year. I’m so excited to see how the Lord continues to use this mindset to grow my friendships for the rest of my life :))))) 

Love y’all for who YOU are!! Thanks for following along, 

Heather