the truth will set you free

“Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” – John 8:32

I’ve been wanting to write a blog for a while now, but as always there’s been a lot going on. God’s been working in my heart in many different ways and it’s hard for me to always know what to share and how to. We’ve all been having a lot of time to process things here at the farm (our ministry site). Since we are kinda out in the middle of no where, it at times can feel very isolated. We have each other and that’s about it. We have ministry during the days but with all our other time we have there isn’t a whole lot to do. So, we often spend it with each other… talking. Talking often leads to a lot of out loud processing. A lot of thinking. There’s also a lot of time to just be alone with The Lord, which also leads to a lot of thinking and processing. I’m saying all of this because if I’m being honest, this month has been really emotionally and mentally hard. We’ve also being sharing our testimonies with each other during our team times. That can bring about a certain heaviness just because of the process of diving into the past and working through some of that. It’s all so healthy but its also a lot. Not to mention just simply managing the emotions that come with change. Coming to a new country, diving into new community, managing living in the middle of a jungle (haha but really), lifestyle changes, diet changes, all the things… it produces a lot of emotions. So my past month has been learning how to deal with it. I’m a thinker for sure – and so learning how to be a healthy thinker rather than an over thinker is something I’m learning for sure right now. 

Through all this there has been one big theme that has seemed to come up in many different times and that is “the truth will set me free”. Its a concept and a verse that I’ve known my whole life but The Lord has been reminding me again this past month how powerful and real that statement is. Something I’ve always struggled with a lot is my thought life. Ever since I was in 3rd grade I can remember having a lot of intrusive thoughts that have been really hard for my brain to rationalize. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve struggled with this same concept but it’s transferred into a lot of physical anxiety. Before coming on the race I felt like I had a pretty good hold on that anxiety. I knew things that helped and I was practicing those things, which left me pretty mentally healthy. But since my whole life has kinda been thrown off since being here, I’ve noticed my anxiety slowly and sneakily resurfacing. I haven’t been as diligent to practice the things that help, along with all the emotional turmoil. What the Lord has gently reminded me in all this is that the truth literally will set me free. When my anxiety is high I tend to feel really bound and paralyzed to a lot of lies in my mind. Lies that I know are lies but they still feel like they have a foothold. But the truth will set me free. The Word of God is alive, living, active, and can not come back void. So, something I’ve been doing is getting up early in the morning before breakfast, getting into the word, pulling out truths from the word, and then going on “truth walks” where I get away and claim these truths out loud over myself. I know that over time, proclaiming these truths will literally set me free. What I feed to my brain will live and the thoughts that I stave will die. I’m fighting to retrain my brain to believe the truth. I think it’s really psychological. I have to rewire my brain. It’s neuroscience. But it’s also so biblical. The Lord talks about how we need to renew our minds by taking thoughts captive. The Word of God is doing something every single time I engage with it. Some days I’ve had to go on multiple walks throughout the day to keep my mind fresh. My friend and I have also been getting up early and praying truths over each other every morning. The accountability that I have the access to in this season is really freaking sweet. My team has been so good to me in fighting with me. Here’s a little pic that someone snapped of Kennedy and I praying and I love it! 

I’ve also been learning how the truth will set me free in relationship. Seeking clarity with others. Living in community can be tricky, and so I’ve found myself in a couple of different situations that have been really confusing for me. Trying to process and figure out what the heck is going on is hard when you don’t know the truth. So once again, The Lord has gently reminded me that seeking the truth is always the move. The truth will set me free. This has actually been a really sweet thing for me to learn and see the fruit of. With my mind and my own thoughts, retraining my brain with the truth is a long process and I don’t always see immediate results. Seeking the truth with other people has been sweet because (in my specific situations this time) that clarity does provide an immediate freedom from confusion, which has provided me so much rest. I’ve in the past not been great with this in the slightest. I tend to overlook my own needs and desires when it comes to getting clarity from others. So as I’ve chosen to step into this and seek clarity with others, I’ve seen how being open and honest and asking questions within community is so important. Once I know the truth, I can relax. I can tell my spiraling, anxious thoughts the truth, because I know the truth. 

We just got back from a weekend getaway to the beach and it was exactly what I needed. I needed rest from the processing. I needed to feel like I was back in society for a hot second haha. I had thought that I was going to take the weekend to write blogs, do podcasts, etc., but what I realized is that I needed to take a break from all mental, spiritual, and emotional processing. So I instead spent a lot of time on the beach. We bought boogie boards and spent a lot of time riding the waves and it was my favorite thing. I spent a lot of time with my teammates. Eating good food. Sitting by the pool eating pizza while watching the Super Bowl. Rejuvenating my soul with so many of the things I love. The Lord certainly showed. My soul felt rest as I proclaimed the Word of God out loud and sought clarity with friends. I got up super early every morning and watched the sunrise at the ocean. I went on some really long walks with The Lord and listened to the thoughts that were giving me an undeniable peace. Learning that those thoughts are The Spirit speaking to me. Showing me the truth. Setting me free. Wow I love Jesus. 

Be praying that I can continue to live and grow in maturity when it comes to choosing to live in the truth. We have 2 more weeks in Costa Rica, then we have a debrief, and then we head to Guatemala! 

Love you all, 

Heather